Stewart backs off

We need to send out a search party. Tony Stewart lost his balls.
When he emerged from the metting this afternoon his tune about NASCAR's cautions changed quicker than his belt size after a big meal. No matter what you read in the paper or on the web here's how the meeting really went.
NC = NASCAR
TS = Tony Stewart

NC - Good to see you Tony, Sit down and shut up.
TS - What?
NC - Who do you think you are?
TS - I'm tony Stewart, The Home Depot and subway guy. Why Don't you know who i am?
NC - Look, you need to shut you mouth about us calling cautions. We call them for a good reason.
TS - Jeff or JR. get a lap down?
NC - That's the answer we expected from you Tony. Dr. Phil, will you please come in here.
Dr. P - Hey Tony. Good race last week. You did really, really well.
TS - Thanks DR. P. (looks at NASCAR) What he doing here?
Dr. P - Tony, NASCAR just wanted me to talk to you about you attutude lately. You seem to be holding some anger. And the way your lashing out it concerns me. what's wrong Tony, did i hit something?
TS - "sniff" No......
Dr. P. - We all need to get along and play by the rules. Everyone is cooperating except you.
TS - "sniff" That's not true. Kyle (Busch) doesn't have to play by the rules. He get to leave races earlie and not get fines, Then Jr. gets to drive his car around the track!
Dr. P. - (speaking in a strick tone) Tony, were gojng to keep you home this weekend if you can not follow the rules and also take away all of your teams toys and
NS - FINE YOU $50,000.00 TOO!
Dr. P. Now NASCAR, you know your not going to fine Tony after all he is a good boy and were really making progress here, (turning to tony and nodding) Arn't we Tony?
TS - "sniff" Ya, i guess we are.......
Dr. P - Now Tony, are you going to go out there and tell everyone that we talked it over and that you now agree with the caution that NASCAR throws?
TS - YA, I guess. But what's in it for me?
NC - Why you little son-of-a BIT
Dr.P. Now Nascar, you need to get along with Tony too. He has a point. If he's going to a good little boy and follow the rules you have to give him something in return.
NC - Fine, what do you want?
TS - To still be able to make fun of Kyle (busch's) pencil neck, big ears and horse teeth on national T.V.
NC - Fine, but do it after the race.
TS - Can i go now? I'm hungry and need to hit McBurgerqueen.
Dr. P. - McBurgeerQueen?
TS - Ya, McDonalds 1st, Then Burger King on the way to Dairy Queen. A mans gotta eat a balanced meal, right?
NC - Just go or i'll fine you right now for annoying me.
Dr. P. - Tony i'd like to schedule another meeting with you. When is best for you?
TS - Usually after Bristol......
NC - GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
TS - Gotta go. Eat Fresh - Race HARD!
Tony leaves. NASCAR and Dr. P are still in the room looking at each other.
NS - Think that will work?
Dr. P. - Should. If not you still have that left over Matt Kenseth Robot you can replace him with.
NS - Na, That will never work. the robot demanded more money after the season ended because he won more races than matt and claimed he could have looked "much better" in the Gatorage commercial.
Dr. P and NASCAR start laughing to the point were milk starts coming out of there nose...................

And there you have it.
Who ever is going to look for Tony's balls i suggest you start looking in NASCAR's back pocket. They probley there for safe keeping.....

Dave